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August 09, 2013

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Rook

At a secret meeting held in North Waziristan between Ayman al-Zawahiri, Usama bin Laden's successor, and Nasir al-Wuhayshi, head of Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula...

Ayman al-Zawahiri: Nasir, Satan's sons at the NSA watch and listen to every word on the telephone or Internet, so we must be careful not to say or write anything of importance within their sight or hearing.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: Yes, my Commander, I agree. But it is very time consuming, inconvenient and dangerous to have meetings in person. Satan's birds of prey stalk the sky with missiles of death and destruction.

Ayman al-Zawahiri: Obama and his henchmen are fainthearted and stupid. We must make them look weak and afraid.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: Can we make them appear to be any more cowardly or stupid than they do now?

Ayman al-Zawahiri: We shall see. Go back to Yemen and I will call you on one of the Obama phones Walid brought back from Chicago. I will give you orders to attack Satan's disciples right away and kill as many as possible.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: But Commander, will the NSA not overhear this call?

Ayman al-Zawahiri: Obviously, only a fool would think otherwise. That is the point. You will not actually attack until September 11.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: And where will you order us to attack?

Ayman al-Zawahiri: I will not be specific. I want to see how they react to the threat. I will assess their weakness and cowardice, then decide where to strike to memorialize our great victory twelve years ago.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: But how can you be certain that they will react at all?

Ayman al-Zawahiri: Obama is a coward and a liar, but he is a cunning politician. He will not wish to lie his way out of another Benghazi.

Nasir al-Wuhayshi: Allah is truly in your heart and mind!

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