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February 28, 2021

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Gunny

Fauci is definitely no Spock.

Manx

Me: Doorbell rings.

Delivery guy: Dropped off my order of chop suey. He leaves it near my door and makes a mad dash back to his car to uphold the virtue of no personal contact.

Me: I bring the bag of victuals inside not giving a second thought to the delivery guy having it in the confines of his car as he - God forbid – breathed. And to think I didn’t wear a mask, disposable rubber gloves and run the bag and container through a sheep dip plunge before partaking in my isolated and lonely feast.

Me: Waiting my turn for grocery checkout properly socially distancing whilst standing on my prescribed large red virtue spot. Woman ahead of me vacates and I move forward to next prescribed virtue spot at end of counter where there’s barely enough room for me to load my goods thanks to card reader and gallon bottle of hand sanitizer in place in a display of virtue.

Checker: You’re supposed to wait in line at a safe distance – you can’t come in from the side.

Me: I didn’t make a sideways approach. I was waiting over there at the prescribed socially distanced red virtue spot.

Checker: No – you came from the side.

Me: Would you prefer I leave and not shop here?

Checker: It’s my duty to ensure a healthy environment.

Me: I look forward to seeing you in the future.

Two experiences – not unique – we’ve all been there and will be there again, and again and…….

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